typical woman

i swore i'd never become one.  a typical woman.  to my dismay, i have arrived.

i am the typical woman.

and then i got to thinking: is there really shame to be found in arriving at the same conclusions that droves of women in years past have expressed?  as a newly realized "typical woman" you could say that the proceeding opinion is biased.  and it is.  but it's also rational and reflective.  give it a chance.

there is a reason that so many of us have expressed and behaved so similarly.  it's not a default weakness.  it's a natural progression and response to the life of a woman.  the result of learning from past experience.  the culmination of biologically unavoidable feelings and emotions.  in my opinion, the majority of our female responses are driven by release of oxytocin.  add to that, our route is absolutely guided by social pressures and provisions.  and so we end up, naturally, at the same pit stops along the route of life.

these pit stops include:

feeling emotionally connected after sex
read above article relating to oxytocin.  biology, baby.

desiring monogamy and marriage
marriage is often seen as the "security blanket" in a monogamous relationship.  it provides social acceptance as to the validity and strength of a relationship between partners.  it is the ultimate signal to a woman of commitment and promised fidelity.  men can verbalize their love and commitment, but keep in mind: actions speak louder than words.  think about what hesitation toward ultimate commitment signals to your partner and to your social group.

women also realize that an older man is generally sexier than an older woman.  you can talk about cougars until the world ends, but men don't have boobs that will eventually sag.  men don't have to be concerned about an inability to remain fertile (at least to the same extent that women do).  graying hair looks classy on a man.  can't say the same about a greying woman.

break it down to society and biology.  it's not difficult to understand.

desiring babies
read this article.


note:  NOT all women land at these pit stops.  some have evolved without the general female urges and responses.  perhaps this is because they have higher levels of testosterone.  perhaps this is because previous experience has created negative associations with any of the above.

make sure you read the article linked above.


for example: a previously naturally-inclined woman has sex with a man.  she feels connected to him.  he burns her.  maybe it even happened twice.  once you touch a hot stove, are you likely to try to grab hold of it?  i don't think so.  her oxytocin release is entirely overpowered by painful feelings, killing off the hormonal effects.  sex becomes a wash.  emotional attachment becomes difficult.  sex no longer promotes feelings of intimacy or emotional connection.  monogamy doesn't look so appealing anymore.

example #2: she's a super female, able to intellectually create a barrier between the feelings that oxytocin produces and the experience of sexual intimacy.  perhaps she has created a barrier, prepared herself for the potential feelings and blocked them.  i have some friends like this.  in my opinion, casual sex is only a safe option if you are a super female.  i am not one of these.

there all all sorts of women out there.  depending on our past experiences and associations, we react to situations differently and perceive our needs and desires individually.  unless these associations are negative enough to kill off the effects of naturally-occuring oxytocin, or if we're the above described super female, we're all likely to follow similar road maps.

it's not a weakness. it's nature.  if you haven't been there yet, just wait.  once you're where i am, hopefully you will understand it and embrace it.  i do.