i had the great pleasure of dining at the pit last evening, a fine establishment in downtown raleigh which is renown for its upscale provision of eastern north carolina-style barbeque and all required accompaniments.
full-on vegetarianism would suit my lifestyle with ease if it were not for my love of carolina bbq.
pulled pork. chopped turkey. vinegar. coleslaw. cornbread. how does one live without such necessary pleasures of the soul? there are no substitutes.
and so, the natural thought arose: it must effin' suck to be a yankee.
as great a claim north carolina has on our cuisine, folks do attempt to compete.
i avert my eyes from your attempt, for fear of embarassing you. grilled chicken with bottled barbeque sauce does not a bbq make.
bush's baked beans are no match for the slow-cooked red variety.
save your rolls for thanksgiving. give me my biscuits.
do not be confused - carolina bbq is only one (albeit, significant) strength of the south which forces me to pity the yankee.
our beaches are covered in beautiful white sand and suntanned bodies. the beaches of long island? covered by the dead bodies of prostitutes (too soon?).
our novembers are colored by turning leaves of fall. yankees? feet of fallen snow.
northern folk can keep their wawa. we have bojangles.
you can spend $200k in the south and live in a picture-perfect neighborhood. spend the same up north - better save some money for a hard-core security system and a scary dog...you're livin in the 'hood.
have you heard of southern hospitality? there's a reason for the mass exodus from above the mason-dixon. join the movement. we make great neighbors :)
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