criminal minds

i have an obsession with criminal minds.  no, not the actual criminals themselves, but the crime thriller television series.  one of the few scripted dramas that can hold my attention for a solid hour.

unfortunately for me, it only airs at night.  when it's dark.

i live in the pleasantville-esque area of brier creek, in a picture perfect town home community that's got everything but the white picket fences.  perfectly manicured lawns.  flower pots at the door.  classy neighbors.  complimentary poo bags in the dog park.  perfectly safe, right?

you just never know...

i was lying in bed last night, curled up with my fluffy 10lb pup, enjoying my show as it depicted a serial killer on the loose in a small town.  lights were off.  stars were out.  everything was quiet aside from the creepy music on the television....

and then BAM.  the bedroom door slammed shut.

hadn't i closed it fully before bed?  perhaps not...i tried to convince myself that the changing air pressure from the air conditioning was to blame as my pup high-tailed it to the door, growling as terrifyingly as a small shitpoo can, sniffing and trying to peer under the door at the possible assailant.  he paced the blocked bedroom entryway, periodically returning to the door to sniff and snarl.



my heart was racing.  i tried to convince myself that it was just the air conditioning.

did i remember to lock the back door before bed?  yes, definitely.

where would i hide if someone had, in fact, broken in?  i debated how funny the bed would look if i were to slide myself under the mattress.  i wished i had a golf club handy so that i could pull a mrs. tiger woods on the ass of a bad guy.  i prayed that, in the event someone were in the house, they would be conveniently distracted by the flat screen hanging on the wall downstairs.  or maybe they'd confuse my pup for a german shepherd.

i stayed in bed, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

waking this morning, relieved to not awake with stab wounds in my chest, i hurriedly got ready and rejected my fears from the previous night.  upon coming downstairs, i checked the living room.

tv still on the wall?  check.  appliances still where they belong?  check.  windows closed?  check.

i grabbed my purse, kissed my pup goodbye, and headed out.

...at which point i discovered that the front door was unlocked.  and my heart stopped.

so, here i sit, safely in my office, trying my damndest to remember whether or not i remembered to lock the front door when i came in from the gym last night.  bags in hand, scurrying to get my pup out the door without incident, did i turn the deadbolt?  was it forgetfulness on my part, or...?

i'm still going to watch criminal minds tonight.  but i'm bringing a golf club to bed with me.