over the weekend i had a long, candid discussion with my mother about faith. primarily, christian faith, but not exclusively. as a whole-hearted believer in the truth of the bible and the path to heaven, my mother lives in a state of faithful confidence that i envy.
she was distressed to learn of her doubting daughter.
i believe whole-heartedly in the existence of God. i accept completely that i am in no way fully in control of my life - where i've been, where i am, and where i'm going is not entirely of my own design. you can disagree with me at any point here. let's talk.
i also accept that i am completely unable to fully comprehend and therefore often do not try to understand God.
i am thankful for my blessings. i talk to Him in hard times. i question the rest.
christianity is based on the text of the bible. the role jesus plays in the salvation of humanity is founded in the scripture. if i have doubts regarding the composition, authorship, interpretation and translation of this book and its contents (not to mention the contradictions found in the gospels), how can i be sure of associated "truths" - how can i come to my own well-founded conclusions?
my mother would describe me in my faith journey as "searching". i agree. thank goodness this is a journey rather than a one-time decision. the potential consequences are terrifying, perhaps damning.
my questions and doubts are highlighted in literature constantly and widely. this morning, this article in particular brought my search to mind.
an excerpt which describes what i have often felt:
“We often infect the Bible with our own values and morals, not asking what the Bible’s values and morals really are,” Crawford says.
it appears that even the text itself is being misconstrued in speech and in practice.
i gain motivation in my search while in the presence of whole-hearted believers. i envy their confidence and (sometimes) blind faith. my eyes are wide open. i understand the qualms of non-believers, followers of other world religions, and the doubters.
where do you fall, what do you think, what do you feel, and can you shed some light? i'm available to listen.
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