the contentment game

this is my first post, and i've decided to get started with an explanation as to why i'm here in the first place.  i have realized that one of my constant goals in life, potentially my driving force, has been and is to find contentment.  the kind of contentment i'm seeking isn't the sort that some folks might relate to "settling" - settling is actually a great fear of mine.  settling with the wrong job, the wrong person, the wrong friends, with a lesser version of yourself than you would like.  by contentment i mean absolute fulfillment and joy in my current state of life.  i don't think that stagnation is healthy - or possible, even - finding a place you're happy with and then staying put.  if you don't change, the rest of the world will certainly do so without you.  there is clearly a constant sort of development that individuals undergo as they age, experience new things (good and bad), learn, and are influenced by other people.  this constant development, i have found, actually can both help and hinder finding oneself in a state of contentment.  one minute you're entirely pleased with yourself and your life status, then new windows open up, you go through them, and contentment is once again slightly at a distance.  i have honestly found that my sense of content can change in as little as five minute intervals...or less.  is this good?  is this bad?  it's reality, for me at least.  my view is that this sense of satisfaction and fulfillment is more like a destination which i pass through from time to time, my visits varying in length based upon the events of my day.

it's a good reason to wake up in the morning and get thinking, feeling, and moving.