validation

there's something about spending time with great girlfriends that leaves me feeling validated.  or, in this case, i leave the girl time and take with me a sense of validation. 

where does that validation come from, you might ask?  from acceptance.  complete, 100% legit and authentic acceptance of who i am, how i am, what comes out of my mouth (and other orifices), and whatever else emanates from me.

they know me.  and they still love me.  that's not a small task. 

i love my friends.

safe environments among friends makes me crave cheese.  prompts me to admit my love of mini-milkduds despite my typical diet of health foods.  allow myself to drink too much wine when we all know what happens when alcohol removes the aQ filter.

i had the great fortune this evening of spending time with two high quality girlfriends.  ladies who have known me since the time of the unibrow (that's right, i put it out there), and the goofy glasses (pre-cmf-eye-decor), and the prudish version of myself that i now only know of through my old journal entries.  i can revert back to funny times, to scandalous times, to ick times and great times - i can harp on myself, i can brag on myself, i can relive myself and they "get" it.  they understand it and have seen the development of the Q.  and i have seen the same in them.

i love being able to remember the "firsts" of my great gals.  i love being able to witness the firsts that are still coming.  and i can't wait to be there to witness the future "firsts" that are still to come.

there's something about sharing a past with someone that makes you thrilled to witness what the future holds.  that makes you excited to get older and do so together.  that makes you feel awesome about yourself because you have awesome folks who relate to you.  birds of a feather, right?  i hope so.

let's expand this.  enlarge the group of two from this evening to the community of friends and loves that surround me.  not only those friends who know the pre-pubescent me, but those who accept me for the quirky adult i am today.  who, despite the lack of a time-tested past, provide a safe space for sharing both to and from me.

i am so fortunate.  and so fortunate to realize my fortune in this and most moments.

and i wonder...is everyone as aware of their great fortune as me?  does everyone share a similar sort of great fortune?

as a female, certainly the gender more adept at creating and maintaining intimate relationships with members of the same sex, i know that my communication habits and tendencies toward intimate friendly connections are different from those of the opposite sex.

take my boyfriend for example.  he undergoes major surgery.  his best friend finds out either just before or after the fact.  we're in a disagreement.  his guy friends have no clue.  he's frustrated at work and wondering what his next step ought to be.  his best friends are entirely in the dark.

swing those situations into my world.  within 5 minutes, i will have either emailed a friend, called a friend, g-chatted a friend, or send a text to a friend to let them know exactly what was going on, how i felt, with a solicitation for their feedback.  i open up my life, they jump in, and we share our experiences.  this is how bonds, in my opinion, are made.

so how could a male friendship ever compete?  and what the HELL do they talk about?

golf, perhaps.  or basketball.  or "that's what she said..." etc.  these, in my opinion, do not a life-sharing experience make.  and i just.don't.get.it.

how do they get through the day without talking about their feelings?  how do they not explode when experiencing an absence of "you'll never guess what happened..."?  how do they not feel an empty space inside as they live entirely without the joy that is talking in depth and detail about the opposite sex?

perhaps i will never know.  i do not understand.

and so, i will cite this lack of understanding as a valid reason to believe that they have inherently lesser relationships than females do.  that men will forever be at a disadvantage when it comes to understanding themselves - how can one know him or herself, truly, without consistent and honest feedback from wise companions?

the answer is, in my ever so humble opinion (yeah, right...but i am right) - they don't.  they don't know themselves as well as women.  they will never fully fill the forever-friend-sized hole in their hearts, and this is why they attempt to fill it with fluff.

...fluff, otherwise known as: televised sports.

(i love my friends.  i love being a woman capable of having such intimate friendships.  in closing, "yay, vaginas!")

...the end.


(men, if you disagree with me - post a comment!  just keep in mind...you're probably wrong.)