but how do they reflect on us? to what degree do the people we associate with say something about who we are, and to what degree should it?
i think that who someone chooses as their closest friends says a LOT about who they are. personal opinion (which is, obvi, correct).
just like who you choose as a romantic/life partner says something about who you are, so does the selection you make in who to surround yourself with. who to confide in. who you relate with, have fun with, and with whom you are seen out in public.
i'm not going to lie. there are a few folks in my life of whose behavior i am not a super-fan. would i want my friendship with these individuals to be my overall representation? no ma'am. but i absolutely believe that, taken as a whole, the friends i have chosen - and who have chosen me - are a pretty solid representation of my values, varied interests, and a reflection of how i think other people should be treated.
i am fucking proud of my friends, and super proud that they have chosen me to be part of the group that reflects on who they are. that could be risky!
do you really want to claim me as your friend?
to my great fortune, some exceptionally high-quality folks have done so, and i appreciate the risk they have taken. i also realize this must mean i exhibit other redeeming qualities which tempt them to claim me as their own. thank goodness.
my friends are intelligent. my friends are thoughtful. my friends are social, and socially developed enough to be able to throw them in with new people and let them dominate with ease.
these ladies are open. these ladies are insightful. my friends are wise, and fair, professional and fun.
i like to think this reflects well on me. and i like to believe that i share some of the above qualities which i value so much in my buds.
our girls nights typically look a little like this:
invites sent in advance. a location is decided (generally one of our houses) and ladies make an effort to contribute. be it wine, be it appetizers, be it sweets (damn you) or whatever. we chat, we laugh, we even sometimes cry. we have fun, we connect, and we update each other on the intricate details of our lives. we ask advice, we suggest wisdom, and we share stories. we love on each other enough to keep us going until the next ladies night is planned.
and then we all help clean up.
the last time i had girlfriends to my house, i was once again impressed by the efficiency and ease with which they carry dishes to the sink and load the dishwasher, all while gracefully maintaining conversation. there is no fuss, no scene made, only the selfless effort made to not leave me with an evening of cleaning after having hosted. and i do the same when i'm at one of their homes.
we love each other, and we take care of each other. i'll never take it for granted...and if i do, i deserve a bitch-slap. from one of my favorite B's.
our circle is open to new faces. new friends-of-friends, and new potential love interests. we care about each other, and thus, care about those who our friends care about. expanding the circle is welcome, even enjoyed.
i sometimes forget that my circle isn't always a mirror-image of others.
i've been in the situation where, brought into a social situation as the "new girl", i wasn't enveloped in welcome. where tight-knit relationships didn't allow for additions. where i was a third or fourth wheel in conversation, and that was clearly made known.
my friends have also found themselves in these situations. feeling like outsiders. taken for granted. and there are few things that can piss me off more.
thinking about this, having recently been provided an example, i debate. is it just that my friends are the ultimate shit, a rare find in a world of lesser-circles? or have some of us just had the bad luck to happen upon a rotten patch of assholes?
for the sake of the world, i hope it's the latter.
but deep down: i think my friends are the SHIT. and i just got really, really lucky.
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