lost in the woods

after a week of self-pitying sickness, pre-thanksgiving anxiety, thanksgiving feasting, and post-thanksgiving digestion, the boyfriend and i decided to bring our pup - brewster - to the park for a short hike.  a relaxing, yet calorie-burning, walk around a nearby lake.  family time.

we geared up, sperry shoes and all, and headed out to crabtree park.  it was just under 70 degrees (in november), and effin' beautiful.

we figured we'd spend about an hour plodding around, allowing the pup to discover new smells and "claim" his territory as he ever-so-manly peed in strategic locations.  and that's how it began.

we started out on the nearest loop, and quickly realized that it was designed for pu$$ies.  a quarter mile was not what we had in mind, and brewster was clearly not yet satisfied either.  so we opted for the 'round the lake route.

we'd done this route before, or at least part of it.  it circles around the entire lake, which honestly is fairly small.  after about 20 minutes, we met a couple who were coming in the opposite direction, just finishing up the entirety of the trek.  "are you all planning to make it all the way around?" they asked.  we pondered.  looking across the lake, everything looked so peaceful.  so relaxing.  such an easy hike...right?  "maybe." we responded...all the while thinking, "most likely we'll end up turning around so that our poor dog doesn't get worn out.  but We are champions."  leaving the couple in our slow-walkin' dust, we continued on.  and on.  until, finally, we pulled up google maps on the boyfriend's cell phone.  we were almost halfway around, we'd gone about three miles, and at this point, we may as well go all the way.  and so, we went.  a full six-plus miles, up hills and down hills, across mini-bridges and mud patches, blisters growing and sun setting.

and it was wonderful.

it's amazing, how long periods of time without technology or other distraction can open up windows of conversation that aren't otherwise prompted to be located.  significant memories and joyful experiences that get hidden in the recesses of our minds so that, it seems, even we have forgotten them.  but they're there, and rediscovering them that day brought back a world of childhood happiness that increased my level of "thankfulness" over the thanksgiving day weekend.

in getting to know my boyfriend, we mainly focused on our recent past, present, and hoped-for future.  we have predominantly lived in the present, and made goals for moving forward.  if and when the past has been touched upon, it has primarily been in brief summarial format, glossing over the basics in order to better explain present circumstances.  long stretches of time for extended stories or conversations are rare, and generally saved for reviewing our weeks, or planning for the next one.  we have been together for over two and a half years, yet i realized, i had never fully gathered a picture of what his childhood was like.  what did he do?  who did he spend time with?  what was his relationship with his sibling like, and how did his parents become the people they are?

i want to know.

perhaps you think this is unimportant.  unnecessary details that aren't relevant to my current relationship.  but you're wrong.

i want my boyfriend to eventually be my family.  and i want his family to be my family.  understanding this, why shouldn't i try to have a deep understanding of his past so that, moving forward, i have a deeper connection to who he is and why he is.

and so, we walked.  and we talked.  at length, in detail, resurrecting our childhoods and reliving fond memories.  i introduced him to little-girl-amy, the shy and passive introvert who loved to play in the woods, catch bugs, and impress others by her progress in reading her big red websters dictionary.  he, in turn, introduced me to adolescent him.  the boy who played street hockey, went camping, and wanted to be an inventor.

laying in bed that night, i started thinking about all of the new information i had gathered.  about all of the time that has passed, as we have gotten to know each other as we are now, without getting to know how the other really started out.  without getting a taste of what it was to be in the adolescent mind of the person we're in love with.

and i wondered - does everyone else know that about their significant other?  do they know the same of their friends made in adult life?  do they ask?  do they even think it's important?

...and if not...why?

i had an incredible weekend.  i have some homework to do with my friends, further research planned for my boyfriend, and i'm interested in you.  let me know.