charisma

let's be straight: i think i'm pms-ing at the moment.  i'm craving chocolate, my face is letting me know just how imperfect it can look, and my patience tank isn't showing up as "full" when i wake up in the morning. 

give it a few days, i'll be back to normal.

in the meantime, i've used my pms-motivated brain to ponder moments that have really pissed me off.  criticisms of myself that i either accept or reject, and then i stew over them. 

i swear - i try to leave shit in the past.  but pms is like a shit-shovel.  digs it all right back up and flings it in my face (and others) sometimes.

shit on the brain at this moment: an accusation that, while i'm great to talk to in person, i'm not as wonderful in group situations.  i am an attention-seeker, desperate to be the center of attention, unable to listen and allow for others to speak their minds, and somewhat unnerving.

...at least, that's what was said about me by someone who shall remain nameless.

it was said months and months ago.  but it still irks me.  it still makes me feel sensitive and insecure at times when i feel that, in groups of friends, i've dominated conversation and taken the spotlight from others.  i do not want to be that girl.  that person. 

and so i try to ensure that (a) i am cogniscient of my tendency to selfishly steal the spotlight/talk time and (b) i apologize if i think back and realize i may have done so.

but that's just a story to get us started.  i actually have a quiz for you to take that is only mildly related. 

bear with me, this will be fun.

i have some kind friends to assure me that it's just my charisma that leads folks to want to be near me (perhaps they are too kind?), and i find this idea of charisma intriguing.

i certainly know many a charismatic person.  i know what it feels like to be drawn to them.  that's what drew me to many of my close friends.  ...i wonder if i have some fraction of what my sweet friends claim i may.

do you?  are you charismatic?  are you a charmer?

or, like me, are you a potentially unnerving attention whore?  you may think you know...but oprah may know better.

while toying around on oprah.com over my lunch break, i came across this quiz:

"how charismatic are you?"  <--take it.  let's compare notes.

my results, according to my biased answers, give me the following:

 hooray.  i am mildly charismatic.  a mediocre charmer. 

i am so o.k. with that.

it doesn't answer my question:  am i an attention whore?

but at least i know that a teensy bit of charm may be involved.